New Divorce Ceremonies on the Rise

     Since the early nineties, lasting marriages in America have been steadily dying out. Aside from the social and emotional damage that these unsuccessful marriages cause for the younger generation who endure them, now there are new, unforeseen pains being felt. People are becoming less likely to tie the knot, bringing about a significant decrease in wedding ceremonies. 

      However, a few observant entrepreneurs managed to find some money-making inspiration in that.

      “Weddings, funerals, kindergarten graduations – the public absolutely loves ceremonies. Since weddings aren’t as plentiful as they used to be, we’re providing people with yet another reason to celebrate together,” says Jeremy Brason, the owner of J’s Separations. “You take an unhappily married couple, put them in a church, dress them up, invite their friends and relatives, and then you divorce them on the spot. They give the rings back and shake hands. Then, if no brawl breaks out during the course of events, there is a big, awkward reception afterward.”

      Brason and his business partners feel that their ceremonies, dubbed Divorce Days, bring families closer together, perhaps even more so than a wedding does. 

       “At weddings, people don’t know each other too well. There’s a bride’s side and a groom’s side in the church. We don’t do that. Everybody knows each other after a lengthy marriage. So we put everybody in one big section so they can chat about old times and such.”

	Above: An example of Brason's special divorce photographs that sell like hotcakes.

      “It’s much more elegant than divorce court,” says Jennifer Parks, who used to be Jennifer Tonsgard before her divorce ceremony in August.

      “My dress that day was prettier than the one I had on my wedding day. The kids looked great. Even my ex-husband, Peter, looked like he had lost a little weight and cleaned up, the cheating bastard.”

      One of Brason’s newest and most popular additions is having a photographer on hand who will take pictures of the event and then cut out ex-relatives who bring back painful memories for whoever orders the photos. 

        Brason claims that since he opened for business last October, his ceremonies have been gradually catching on.

        “People just can’t get along. We can’t stop that. But what we can do is make their last moments together very special.”