Brock's Review of Billoon45's "Month in Review" - May 2009 (late edition)
June 18th, 2009
YouTubers and beyond,
First of all, I want to say, “Well, hello, Billoon45. You are looking sleek and slick over there! You trimmed up all your head hair and your mustache hairs and you are just glowing with cuteness.”
Now that that’s out of the way, let’s get down to “da bizness.” If you will recall,
Here we go!
Moments of Interest:
:01-:27 – The Big Trip!
Let’s face it, Billoon looks like he got laid on his trip. And I’m not talking by a helium-filled piece of rubber, I’m talking about a fat-filled, hairy, flesh-and-blood piece of vagina. He had himself a little romance on the road. I can’t prove this with hard facts, but this dude’s face, his animated mannerisms, and his sly little eyebrow-noddings say it all. This is the fanciest I’ve ever seen Billoon dress. He’s got on a crisp Bugle Boy button-up shirt, he’s probably wearing pants, and he might have even bathed within the past week. I see big changes in store for this dude. As final proof of the above statement, reload this page and look at the video’s thumbnail. Billoon is cupping his face like a bashful schoolboy looking at a titty for the first time. He is smitten.
:28-:52 – Huh?
I don’t know what Billoon is trying to get across here, but I imagine that it means he had to run to Burger King after going to Wal-Mart with his friend (to perhaps buy his new Bugle Boy shirt). I love that he stifles a burp mid-sentence. That definitely means Burger King.
:53-1:14 – Unpacking
So he’s going to spend the rest of the week unpacking from his trip. And he’s going to do it “the best he can.” I imagine that the best anyone could possibly unpack from a trip is by completely unpacking all of the items that were packed for the trip. I don’t know how you could do better than that, unless you somehow finish up and find out that you now have more things than what you had packed. An unsuccessful unpacking job is one in which you leave a bunch of stuff still packed up for no good reason. I hope that doesn’t happen for Billoon. Guess we’ll find out later in the week…
1:15-1:28 – Reiterating the Vlog’s Title
It’s nice that Billoon reminds us about what we’re watching. I mean, I had read all of this in the title, just a centimeter above the video, but I kind of forgot, and just as my disorientation and confusion reached its zenith, Billoon swooped in and saved my retarded ass. We are indeed watching the late edition to his Month in Review for May (of course). Thank you.
1:29-1:55 – Too Many Secrets!
He can’t say anything about his visit, except that it was good. Fuck! We’ll just have to figure out what happened? Dammit! Grrrrrr!
1:56-2:32 – Grooming Techniques with Billoon45
Two important things to remember:
1 – If you want a shorter beard, you can’t be lazy about shaving.
2 – If you want to keep your hair lower, you just trim it down and give it a good level.
Cool? Cool.
2:33-3:19 – No New Balloon Technologies
You can almost taste the sour bitterness of boredom in Billoon’s mouth when he says that there’s nothing new in the world of balloons for him to explore. I think that statement sums up the beauty and horror that is Billoon45. Here is a man who has so thoroughly experimented with balloon-fucking, he’s now throwing down the gauntlet, not just to the rest of the balloon-fucking community, but also I think to the balloon manufacturers of the world: Show Billoon something new and wonderful. Take him to new orgiastic heights, either with larger balloons, squeakier materials, or latex shapes with more interesting hump-friendly facets and crevices that he’s never imagined before. Is this even possible? Only time will tell…
The Bottom Line:
The best thing about this being the Late Edition to the Month in Review is that, theoretically, we only have a couple of weeks before the next Month in Review hits the newsstands. It’s obviously been a good month, Billoon is uncharacteristically and mysteriously happy, and it looks like there is no chance of this happy streak slowing down. I’m going to go on record here that 2009 will bring us some of the best Month in Reviews ever. Please quote me on that to all of your friends.
Do you have anything to add to this? If so, leave a comment below or leave it as a comment on Billoon45′s channel.
Until next month’s “Month in Review,” happy inflations.
