Brock's Review of Billoon45's "Month in Review" - An Introduction
May 3rd, 2009
Dear internet,
Since I’ve recently taken a sacred and eternal vow to Celebrate the Unremarkable things in the world whenever I can, I’m starting up a new special treat tradition here on Studio8.net – I’m going to review all the lame, retarded things that I love to waste all of my time on!
The first of these will be a monthly feature in which I review a YouTube blogger named Billoon45‘s “Month in Review” vlogs. For those of you may not be familiar with Billoon45′s work, he’s a chronically unemployed school janitor/balloon fetishist who is semi-famous for making the below video in which he honestly attempts to fit his entire body into a large balloon, gets stuck inside of it, his pants fall off, and he has to wiggle his large, blobular self out of the balloon before he asphyxiates. Keep in mind as you watch this that not only did he almost kill himself by trying to do something incredibly stupid, HE THEN UPLOADED THE VIDEO OF HIM ALMOST KILLING HIMSELF BY TRYING TO DO SOMETHING INCREDIBLY STUPID ONTO THE INTERNET:
Yeah.
So after that video launched Billoon45 into web stardom (but not the right kind of web stardom), some teachers and young students who attended the school that Billoon45 mopped up diarrhea at found Billoon45′s YouTube channel, shared it with one another (out of shock, fear, and because it’s funny as fuck) and were understandably horrified by all the videos of him making love to large balloons in his tighty-whiteys. Since, undoubtedly, the last thing you ever want to see or hear about your school’s janitor doing is making videos of himself dry humping children’s toys, he was promptly fired and now has even more time on his hands to sexually assault innocent latex objects on-camera.
Now one of the most beautiful happenings to come out of all of this has been Billoon45′s “Month in Reviews,” in which he offers tantalizing sneak peeks into his dull, depressing life. Sometimes during these videos, he even addresses other online entities who make negative comments on his “Month in Review” videos, which really just stirs up more people to make even more fun of him and perpetuates a never-ending cycle of shitty garbage of which I just can’t seem to get enough. Someone even created a Billoon54 YT account and has been accusing Billon45 of being an impostor of the “real Billoon,” something that Billoon45 vehemently denies.
Thus, here we are and there is a lot of fun to be had here, I promise.
But now I’m being faced with a difficult temporal dilemma, because Billoon45 has been doing his “Month in Reviews” for quite some time now and I probably have lots of stupid things to say about all of those stupid things. But since our blog-based Studio8.net is only a week old, it means I’ll have to retroactively review Billoon’s “Month in Reviews,” which I might do if I feel like you people deserve for that to happen. But keep in mind that if I start reviewing his old reviews, the past, present, and future will start blending together and I might open up all kinds of confusing time travel debacles, similar to what you might experience if you watch LOST on television’s ABC network.
We’ll see what happens. My first review will be posted later this week, right here on Studio8.net! Until then, as my boy Billoon45 says, happy inflations.
