Terp's Wrestling Blog: Wrestlemania 25 - Chopped, Screwed and Reviewed
April 7th, 2009
I’ve watched a lot of wrestling in my life. Certain memories are flagged with moments in sports entertainment. When The Rock won the Survivor Series tournament in 1998 I was a senior in high school discovering the internet. When the Radicals debuted on Monday Night RAW I was a freshman in college who hadn’t had his first drink yet. When Eddie Guerrero died I was still adjusting to post Katrina life in Austin, Tx with my friend Dan Rubin. I get it. I love it. But it lost me.
It lost me somewhere in 2006 when the writers stopped taking chances and the heroes weren’t really heroes and the backstage segments were embarrassing. They were giving away pay-per-view quality matches on television and not delivering much of anything at the actual pay-per-view events. For the most part, the mid-card disappeared from the priority list and the same top guys were recycled over and over and over.
Every March/April I give the WWE another shot. If Wrestlemania impresses me, I’m back in the saddle. I’ll be back reading rumor sites and watching RAW. I’ll be back desperately scrambling at the last minute trying to find enough people to come watch the pay-per-view with me so I can afford it. This is what happened this year:
The set was incredible, possibly the best one yet. I expect them to always outdo themselves here and wish that they applied that same technique to their matches. I’m disappointed that we start with the Money in the Bank (unless the spots we see here are going to be outdone later in the show – not likely) and I’m disappointed Christian doesn’t win. Surely they could cook up a storyline with Christian using the contract against Edge, right? Makes too much sense. Moving on.
I find out that the tag team championship match won’t be happening around the same time Kid Rock craps out a horrible medley. The bookers would rather put over an aging Kid Rock than have one of it’s most prestigious championships defended at the biggest event of the year. Awesome. (Also – why was the United States champion competing for Money in the Bank? Shouldn’t someone be chasing M.V.P. for that title?) Notice how the booth only cut to the crowd three times during his thirty minute performance? That’s because nobody was singing along. That’s also why they only had one shot from behind Kid Rock into the crowd because it revealed that 95% of the audience were looking at the ground. I was happy to see Weird Al on the bongos, though.
The Miss Wrestlemania battle royal was awful, but not as awful as the moment I realized it would last long enough for the crew to break down Kid Rock’s set.
The Legends vs. Chris Jericho match had three redeeming qualities and three things terribly wrong with it. Redeeming quality #1 – Chris Jericho is one of the best heels ever (everrrrrr) in the business. Putting him in this role can actually accomplish something in the WWE storyline department. Unless…they wash it all away with putting Mickey Rourke over (Terribly wrong thing #1). What’s wrong with Jericho being victorious and heading into Monday Night RAW as a despicable heel that did what he said he would do? Nothing. What’s wrong with dragging out a predictable ending to almost 5 minutes (enough room for a tag title match) and damaging the credibility of a really good heel? Everything. The other redeeming qualities was getting to see Snuka and Piper walk down the aisle. Terribly wrong things #2 and 3 was having to see them wrestle. Ricky Steamboat made up for it so I’ll stop complaining.
Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy was amazing. Here was a match with a clean ending and what feels like a resolution. Matt Hardy beats Jeff Hardy. The buildup was great. The match was fun. Jeff puts Matt over, Matt’s rating goes up. I liked it so much I don’t know what else to say. This has me excited for the rest of the card…
…but then JBL vs. Rey Mysterio gets me all riled up again. We wait years to have the Intercontinental title back on the line at Wrestlemania and we get a squash match? Terrible. Here’s what I would have done: Keep the JBL quitting angle, but instead of including the title, let’s put over someone who needs it. Anyone but a former Heavyweight champion. Let’s put over someone who can actually use the momentum (“I drove JBL to quit! You’re welcome!”) and then actually defend the I.C. title. Pet peeve #1 with Wrestlemania is the lack of title matches. It’s hard to believe that the championships mean anything when they aren’t defended at the biggest event of the year.
Undertaker vs. HBK was very well done. My only request going into this match was to make me believe that Undertaker might lose. After the third choke slam kick-out they had me. It only lasted a second, but they had me. Well done.
As far as I’m concerned, the Stone Cold induction was the main event here. Nothing surprising happened with the “real” main events. Predictable endings. No turns. No big reveals. Same old same old. Going into the Orton vs. HHH match I texted several people and said that if Vince McMahon turns on HHH tonight I will return full-time to the WWE. I almost wanted it to happen. I wanted to be surprised. I was, but it was at the abrupt ending which has to go down as one of the worst finishes all time in a Wrestlemania main-event. Really, what’s worse than that?
They didn’t win me over, but I watched RAW anyway. Within five minutes Orton said “last night, HHH proved nothing.” That’s exactly my problem.
***Edit: I couldn’t resist. I’m back and blogging on my return to wrestling. Catch everything right here on Studio8.
