Terp's Wrestling Blog: Booking Backlash myself
April 22nd, 2009
Well, the good news is that I think someone in the WWE creative department is reading this blog. I don’t know how else everything is falling into place. Is this an “after walking across the desert the first sip of water taste good no matter how stinky it is” situation? I don’t want to think about it too much. I’d rather focus my feelings on this Sunday’s pay-per-view and pretend that we’re about to see a return to glory days for World Wrestling Entertainment. It’s possible.
Backlash looks amazing on paper. This pay-per-view regularly seems to be at the bottom of the barrel, filled with half thought-out matches and results with no real significance on big picture story lines. We only have one real rematch from Wrestlemania (Matt vs. Jeff Hardy) and they followed an important rule for back-to-back rematches: heightening to an “I Quit” match. Goosebumps. There is so much potential here.
For this and all upcoming pay-per-view events, I’m going to book the matches myself, predict the actual booking, and assign a dollar value to every match. Every time the dollar value equals the cost of the event, I’ll buy it. The rest of the money will have to come from paypal donations, loyal viewers.
CM Punk vs. Kane
How I’d book it: Kane wins clean. Post match he says he wants to face CM Punk again, this time with the Money in the Bank on the line. Punk agrees to the match that we’ll see this week on Smackdown.
How They’ll book it: CM Punk wins with a Pepsi Slam.
$ Value: $1.50
John Cena vs. Edge (Last Man Standing Match)
How I’d book it: Edge squeaks out the clean victory. His celebration over an actual win over John Cena is twice as enthusiastic as his Money in the Bank wins are. He clutches onto the title as CM Punk announces he’s cashing in his Money in the Bank. CM Punk wins, the title moves to Smackdown, Edge and CM Punk get to work a program, and a period is put at the end of the Cena/Edge sentence. Paragraph. Novel.
How They’ll book it: John Cena wins with an Attitude Adjustment!
$ Value: $4
Jeff Hardy vs. Matt Hardy (“I Quit” Match)
How I’d book it: Matt has Jeff Hardy bloodied up real good and tied up. Matt’s victory is inevitable. He puts the mic to Jeff’s mouth for him to give up. Jeff tries to get all gushy and asks Matt what he wants from him. Jeff starts to say “I Quit” but Matt puts his hand over his mouth and continues to pummel him. Matt wins big. Matt is hardcore. Everyone is scared of Matt. (Now we believe Matt when he gets a big feud with HHH in a couple of months)
How They’ll book it: Jeff Hardy wins really easily!
$ Value: $5
Chris Jericho vs. Ricky the Dragon
How I’d book it: Chris Jericho destroys the shit out of Ricky the Dragon. Business as usual. Moving on.
How They’ll book it: Ricky the Dragon wins after run-ins from Roddy Piper, Ric Flair, Jimmy Snuka, and whoever else needs the cash. Jericho heads to Smackdown with no steam. Wrestling fans everywhere are disappointed.
$ Value: $.50
Christian vs. Jack Swagger
How I’d book it: Jack Swagger wins cleanly. Christian just wasn’t good enough, understands he needs to get better and gets back to work. An angle is worked where Christian can beat everyone on the ECW roster except for Swagger.
How They’ll book it: Christian wins in 5 minutes!
$ Value: $4
Batista, Shane McMahon, Triple H vs. Randy Orton, The Legacy
How I’d book it: Batista accidentally hits Shane with a chair. HHH pulls Batista aside, all pissed off and fussing at him. Batista explains it was a mistake and then hits HHH with the chair. He walks out of the ring, Orton RKO’s Shane, wins the title.
How They’ll book it: HHH pins Randy Orton with one pedigree, yay!
$ Value: $3
Post-Backlash:
With my booking, we’ve got a fun triple feud going between CM Punk, Edge, and Kane on Smackdown, with both Edge and Kane feeling like they deserve a title shot. We’ve got a HHH/Batista feud for next month – any time the WWE can work a title-less angle and get us on board, they are doing their job. Randy Orton is champion and there is room here for a new Raw wrestler to challenge him. Matt Hardy has mega-heel steam going for him, as does Chris Jericho.
With my predicted booking, we get frustrated all over again!
