The LSU Geology Club is finally attempting to alter the nerd-like image that has kept its membership numbers embarrassingly low.

	Above: The activity booths will look nowhere near as cool as this one does.

     Later this month, the club plans on hosting the First Annual LSU Geology Convention, a series of informative seminars and hands-on activities that will hopefully spark interest in the club, while also allowing students to have some fun with earth science.

     Genevive Ybarra, a geology junior who will help operate a number of the activity booths, divulged that rearranging small stones into interesting designs, labeling tricky soil layer samples, and making authentic exploding baking soda volcanoes are “merely a few” of the fun things planned for students to enjoy.

     Ybarra also described what she thinks could be the most popular geological event at the convention.  The event involves participants standing behind comically-painted walls and putting their faces through cut-out holes while other students attempt to properly identify and throw various heavy rocks into the face-holes.

     Despite the high fun capacities of the above events, Dale Chinders, Geology Club founder and president, believes that the series of geology-related seminars and speeches will have a bigger impact on students, leaving them yearning for more geological knowledge.

     “We’ve got about 25 geology professors and science experts coming to talk.  And they’re going to cover all the big stuff – Byzantoic Age lava formations, sedimentary deposit percentages, even the thrilling new Sub-Crystalline Clay Heat-Flow Theory,” Chinders quoted as he excitedly stroked a lump of quartz.  “I can’t wait another minute!”

     When planning the event three months ago, some Geology Club members voiced apprehension that maybe their enthusiasm for geological studies isn’t shared by a majority of LSU’s students.

	Above: Rock reacting to the statement that America is not all about rock.

     “Basically, the club agreed that we need someone who is hip and also who sounds geologically relevant enough to sucker, um, draw in a lot of students,” Chinders explained.  “We considered lots of celebrities like Paula Poundstone, Lauren Hill, and even Lou Diamond Phillips, but then we heard about a guy named Kid Rock and figured he would be just perfect.”

     After the club booked Kid Rock, members learned that he is a rock music performer who knows little about the actual earth or anything else except drinking vast amounts of booze and having sex with thousands of his groupies.

     Nonetheless, Chinders refuses to have his rock seminar turned into a rock concert.

     “Let it be known that Mr. Rock will not be performing any of his silly music while he’s here.  We sent him some books concerning current geological debates.  He will be expected to give a lecture or two that covers those books as well as any geological research that he may have performed before he dropped out of school in the seventh grade.”

     Kid Rock, who managed to muster up enough strength to offer one comment on the LSU Geology Convention, said, “America is all about <expletive> rock, you know?  I could sing and talk all day about Skynyrd, Willie Nelson, David Lee Gifford.  Real American <expletive> heroes.  Don’t forget the <expletive> Rolling Stones, too.  I can do that geography bull <expletive>.”