Dudley Smith, a 42-year old LSU bus driver, was arrested early Sunday morning for driving under the influence of alcohol.  Smith drives one of the aptly named ‘Drunk Buses’ that shuttles between campus housing and local bars during the late hours of weekend nights so that students who have been out drinking can have a safe trip home.

     LSU police say they became suspicious when they noticed Smith’s bus turning circle after circle in the Tiger Stadium parking lot.

     “Though everyone on the bus looked to be having a good time, we knew if the driver kept turning donuts like he was, somebody was going to get sick and vomit.  So we stepped in and shut it all down,” quoted LSUPD Sgt. Dan Ward.

     When officers approached the bus, Smith reportedly screamed, “No pigs allowed!” and then tossed his half-empty bottle of vodka at them, much to the delight of the rowdy students onboard.

     Smith then attempted to flee the scene, leading police on a thrilling three-minute bus chase that reached speeds of up to 35 mph.  The chase ended with no casualties as Smith, in a drunken stupor, somehow remembered his responsibilities as a bus driver and pulled over at a bus stop to let some students off.

     Amidst obscenity-laden angry protests and flying footwear, officers handcuffed Smith and took him into police custody.  Before heading back to the station, the officers made all of the remaining drunk bus patrons put their shoes back on and walk or drive home.

	Above: A bus that looks nothing like the LSU bus Smith drove.

     Mason Tedrick, a sophomore in sociology and one of the students forced to find his own way home after Smith was arrested, said, “I hope those cops know that as soon as they left, we just drove the bus home ourselves.  Everybody got to their dorms and houses just fine.  Oh yeah, and we parked the bus in that big lake by Herget.”

     Besides perhaps losing his job as an LSU late-night bus driver, Smith also faces up to six years in prison.

	Above: Smith likes to drink heavily before, during, and after he drives.

     “I ain’t worried too much about it.  I’ve been drunk plenty of times while driving around campus.  I didn’t get in trouble then, and I ain’t going to get in trouble now.  Besides, them kids made me drink,” a subdued Smith said from the dirty, worn cot in his jail cell.

     Despite all of the negative ramifications of the above incident, several students said they weren’t too upset and would do it again if they had the opportunity.

     “I think next weekend me and some girls are just going to ride around on the drunk bus all night instead of going out to a club.  I mean, it’s free, you meet a lot of other really great drunk people, and it makes me feel more like a responsible person,” spouted French Studies junior Rhonda Miller.

     Managers of the LSU bus line want to make sure students understand that drinking alcohol to or past the point of intoxication is not a requirement in order to operate or ride on the ‘Drunk Buses.’  However, they add, the few sober people who have tried it tended to feel quite silly during the ride.

     According to a report released last week, alcohol consumption at LSU is in a decline as sobriety becomes quite a trend among college students.  However, management refused to comment on rumors that a squad of ‘Sober Buses’ is in the works.