Where in God’s cursed creation are you? I fear that I have misplaced you in some terrible and lonely place. Honestly, I’ve looked just about everywhere.

Years ago, when I tired of searching for you on foot, I began writing these letters, yet still I am not one step closer to finding you. As a matter of fact, I am now even less sure of where you are because I have moved quite a bit and recently I have also had many lovers whom all shared similar names and personalities so that I am constantly mixing up who is who and what-not.

            Please, please, please tell me where you are so that I might send you all of these years’ worth of love letters so that you might know that I am searching for you, my long-lost love.

            If you do not respond to this letter, I will just put it in the pile with all the others. This pile is taking up an inordinate amount of space in my closet and I also suppose that they are some sort of fire hazard. But just know that I have not forgotten, nor have I given up on our love together. 

Sincerely,