Age: 58
Weight: 475 lbs.
Height: 6' 6"
Has Appeared In: Sex and the City, Designing Women, Thumb-tanic, Forrest Gump, Pretty Pretty Princesses, Give Me What I've Already Got (Documentary about the inventor of My Little Pony), KFC Commercial #4120
Currently Auditioning For: KFC Commercial #4121
Special Skills: Lawn Maintenance, Being Truthful, Lying, Melting Snow, and Making Elderly People Feel Important
Misc: Not able to open his mouth, but can hum and moan really well. His eyebrows produce their own mucus.