Age: 45
Weight: 250 lbs
Height: 6' 11"
Has Appeared In: Big Dog T-Shirt Company's Warehouse Training Video #12, Teen Wolf 3: Wolfin' It Down Under, My Friend Me, Resident Evil 4 (video game, voice of Chainsaw Zombie #5)
Currently Auditioning For: Mr. Pancakes, national spokesperson/breakfast item/poster boy for Waffle House
Special Skills: Able to figure out most mysteries BEFORE they occur. In love with various women, some of whom have no idea that he exists. Immediately shuts any open door he sees.
Misc: Voted #4 in Teen People's Top 10 Sexiest Beards. Likes to pretend that he is a pirate. Has a hook for his left hand.