Brock's Pillow Problem
Page 1

WARNING: Readers of the following picture story might find it to be crude, pointless, vulgar, stupid, good, boring, shocking, cute, entertaining, disappointing, or particularly tasty and refreshing.

The worst day of Brock's life began around 2 PM when he finally decided to roll out of his expensive mattress-free bed to give his neck a rest from the crappy pillow that he had lain on all night and all morning and most of the afternoon. Brock waited around for a while, hoping for somebody to walk into his room and get rid of the pillow for him, but nobody came by. Brock was so upset, he came very close to skipping his usual mug of lukewarm egg nog on the back porch. So he did end up indulging in his egg nog (not pictured), but afterwards, instead of watching religious programming on television, he decided to take matters into his own hands and do something about his pillow.

  
Brock's first and most creative idea for getting rid of the pillow was to throw it up onto the roof of his neighbor's house (pictured twice above). So he dedicated a few hours to this task, which proved to be more difficult than he had imagined (by the way, he hadn't really imagined much that day because he doesn't like to do that sort of thing). When he did manage to muster up enough strength and coordination to toss it up onto the roof, it just rolled back off because the roof is very steep.

With time running out and the pillow now becoming even more of an intimidating presence in Brock's life, Brock took one of his mother's putt-putt golf clubs and pummeled the pillow with at least half of his might. The wily pillow withstood each and every one of the four blows by simply absorbing the impact with its soft and cushiony interior (might not be pictured above).

Unable to defeat the pillow by physically threatening it, Brock hoped to somehow morph the pillow into something more useful and practical by pretending that the pillow was actually his computer. However, this only made Brock miss out on several important online discussion forums that he was scheduled to rudely disrupt that day. Plus, the pillow only had 16 MB of RAM and Brock did not want to be made fun of by any computer nerds (pictured, but not here) who might walk into his house.

Thus, Brock clutched the pillow in his sticky hands and arrived at the trash can for the first time that day. He placed the pillow in the trash can, but for some reason, it didn't look right sitting there, so he had to take it out of the trash can and stumble elsewhere. But first, he had a nice piece of mincemeat pie (the picture of that pie will never see the light of day).

Attempting to befriend the pillow and treat it as if it was a fellow human being, equal in every shape, fashion, and sexual orientation, Brock dressed the pillow in his favorite Minnesota Bucks baseball jersey. The jersey did not look very flattering on the pillow, though, and looking at it made Brock feel slightly ashamed that he never played or enjoyed watching sports. More frowns, less fun, and a nice steady level of unpleasantness and regret were all that Brock experienced for the next five minutes. (Brock's penis is not pictured here.)