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Studio 8 vs. The Neighbors
The Ugly Alien and the
Carwash from Hell
Page 1
Since the Studio 8 boys
moved into this "nicer" neighborhood, our lives have been held under a
huge microscope. It seems like all the neighbors are constantly
watching us, just waiting for something to go wrong so they can try to
get rid of us. We've been passive-aggressively accused of many things:
turning our house into a "frat house," "being a bunch of fags," and
the most recent accusation - making our street "look like a used car
lot." Apparently, having 3 cars in the driveway is all you need to
start up your very own used vehicle emporium! So we decided, in a
half-hearted attempt to make peace with the neighborhood, we'd make
the following Picture Story: The Ugly Alien and the Carwash from
Hell!
It was either a Tuesday or Sunday morning somewhere around
mid-afternoon or late at night when three little men and one medium-sized alien
from outer space noticed how
dirty all of their cars were. After discussing with each other how
awful that was for nearly fifteen seconds, the Fearsome Foursome decided to
go window shopping at the local deli. It was there, many hours later,
that they agreed to go back home and give those cars a
good old-fashioned washing! But first they had to follow a few
unimportant steps:
Step #1: Locate the smallest pair of blue jean cut-off shorts
in existence. Make sure that when you lift your arms higher than
waist-level your scrotum falls out of the leg-holes. Wear these
shorts. Also, get a bucket of soapy water and a water hose. Don't mix
any poison into the soapy water.
Step #5: Determine which objects in the front yard can be
classified as "cars." Here, you can see Chris has mistaken a telephone
pole for a dirty automobile. Do not be stupid like Chris. Do not try
to push the telephone poles over, either.
Step #27: Wash the cars. Notice how the 3 above members of the
Fantastic Four are each taking a specific task and splitting up the
work. Java scrubbed the backside of the rear license plate,
Chris sprayed cold water on his crotch, and the alien looked closely
at the car while exhibiting the same blank facial expression. The
fourth member, Brock, was busy snapping the above crappy picture for
this Picture Story.
Step #412: Taking special care to look as gay as you possibly
can, buff the cars dry with your denim-covered ass. When the neighbors
come outside and complain about your loud moaning and provocative hip
thrusting, moan louder, thrust more extravagantly, and offer to buff
their cars dry for a modest fee.
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