Remember these things on Thanksgiving and be thankful:

- That the Indians gave us their stuff so we could turn our backs on them and kill them.

- That you weren't aborted.

- That Cousin Butherd died last summer in a car accident (he was unpleasant company, anyway).

- That pants were invented.

- That you are not a seagull and you haven't exploded yet.

- That you haven't had Crash Test Dummies' "Mmmmm  Mmmmm Mmmmmm" stuck in your head for the past 7 years.

- That you're not a woman in today's workforce.

- That life didn't end four billion years ago.

- That your bed is not all messed up, dude.

- That you do not have mono.

- That somebody else is not looking through your eyes and guiding your soul toward something silly.

- That you don't have to suffer the painful memories of a friend committing suicide last Thanksgiving, unless you are.

- That there is something out there better than yourself that makes life keep going on and getting better.

- That there are plenty of funny, non-controversial things to laugh at here @ Studio8.net!

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