When
companies grow, it's necessary for the staff to grow too. Studio8.net's
readership has increased so much and to colleges across the nation, we find that
to keep up with entertaining you, we need to expand our number of employees. So,
we are opening this opportunity up to everyone, including you, the fan of
Studio8. Hopefully, below you will find something new and exciting that sparks
your interest.
If hired, you could be one of these:
Freelance Writer
The main dish on the menu that is Studio8.net are the articles
featured on the front page of the site. We are looking for individuals capable
of submitting 1-2 humorous articles a week on any current event ranging from
politics to sports to music to movies. Must be willing to have work revised if
necessary. E-mail a 2-paragraph writing sample to
email@studio8.net.
Maid
We spend so much time on the site that often we find that we don't
have enough time to cook, clean, bathe, talk, or even make new friends. We are
looking for a maid to do these things for us and to make us feel better about
ourselves. Please send a picture of yourself in a sexy French maid outfit* and
a semi-current resume to:
email@studio8.net.
Freelance Freelancer
Freelancing is a very big and very important aspect of Studio
8. In the past, we have dealt with large, corporate freelancers, but we are
currently on the lookout for independent, freelancing freelancers. Duties include
freelancing, freelancing freelance, freelancing freelancers, and making babies
cry. Please email
email@studio8.net.
Computer
Must have a minimum of seven years of experience in being a
computer. A printer is a plus, but is not required. Email yourself to
email@studio8.net.
Groupies (5)
Every club/company/group/organization/cult needs mindless
drones to follow it and smile at it no matter how stupid it is. Studio 8 has had
its share of groupies, but they all seemed to be a bit too mature for our
tastes. That's why we are looking for groupies no older than 5. Get your older
brother or sister to email
email@studio8.net.
job@studio8.net
if interested.
Racist Old Man
Pictures are an important visual aid to Studio8.net. Many
projects we partake in revolve around, or are drastically enhanced by,
photographs. No experience required, but must provide your own camera and pay
each Studio 8 member 35 dollars per picture taken. Must take 50 pictures a week.
We prefer racist and old photographers. Email
email@studio8.net.
New Fernando
The old Fernando is no longer employed with Studio 8 for reasons we
cannot divulge at this moment. Duties for this job include having a brother
named Java and "fucking that bitch up." Note: Fernando, do not apply for this
job. If interested, please email
email@studio8.net.
Choreographer
Every entertainment empire needs someone to show them their
steps. Our choreographer needs to be ready and willing to explain and show the
techniques involved in walking around. Must be familiar with the "funkay walk" and
must have at least 23 years of experience in walking. Email proof of your experience
and walking portfolio to
email@studio8.net.
Fraternity
Studio 8 has been interested in branching out to the Greeks and
we are looking for our very own fraternity. Job duties include drinking beer, being
slightly overweight, and front-tucking your t-shirt. Email
email@studio8.net.
Babies
Since everyone likes babies, we figured that we could use a
few. Duties include always looking real cute, being chubby, sucking on titties,
and shitting all over the place. Email
email@studio8.net.
*Must be sexy French maid
outfit, not to be confused with regular French maid outfit.
