Studio8.net has put together some tips that will make the most important holiday in the history of all holidays about 3 times better. Note: If you are not from an area that celebrates the Mardi Gras, just save these tips for the next time you get a date or something.

- Learn to somehow appreciate all of the ornate masks that lots of rich people wasted time and money creating.

- Desperately search for a pair of actual bare titties as you drag your feet and girlfriend up and down the same crowded street 10 times.

- Put on a diaper and drink some Pina Coladas.

- Pay lots of money to park your car in a questionable neighborhood far away from wherever it is you plan on going.

- Crawl on the ground and look for necklaces that someone dropped because they are either dirty, ugly, or broken.

- Celebrate that so many human beings can put aside their differences and create such a festive atmosphere while simultaneously hoping that not one of them touches you.

- Lose something or someone important and spend all night fruitlessly searching for them.

- Eat really gross and expensive food since it is impossible to get anything else once you are there.

- Thank God that you aren't one of those crummy old people playing jazzy music all the time.

- Hope you don't suddenly get diarrhea once you get set up in a good spot because that means your poopoo will soon be bubbling out of your anus.

- Pick your pimples and eat the pus...it's Mardi Gras!!!

- Thank the nice policemen for standing around and telling jokes to each other.

- Wonder why this whole Mardi Gras thing exists.

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