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A Pleasant Evening
Once again, the Studio 8 Character
Gentleman Brock engages in a conversation
that leads to frustration, insults, and awkwardness. This time, we
are talking to a person who is either a special-ed junior high
student or they are a typical, lazy, confused, spoiled, crude, and
unfunny American teenager. As always, we are "GentlemanBrock".
GentlemanBrock:
Excuse me.
rubadik365:
hi
GentlemanBrock:
Are you having a pleasant evening?
rubadik365:
its okay, why do you ask
GentlemanBrock:
I am just making conversation.
rubadik365:
my hemroids are kinda getting to me today
GentlemanBrock:
I am sorry if it's not what you want me to do.
rubadik365:
no no, i like talking
GentlemanBrock:
Well, that is most unfortunate about your rectal discomfort, sir.
GentlemanBrock:
But a gentleman does not discuss such things.
rubadik365:
im just in a jumpy mood, my ass has been itching me all day
rubadik365:
you are too caught up with the roll of your name
GentlemanBrock:
I am not sure what that means, sir.
rubadik365:
try talking more like schwarta's please
GentlemanBrock:
I have not properly introduced myself, perhaps.
GentlemanBrock:
I am Sir Gentleman Brock, Esquire.
GentlemanBrock:
And I am speaking with...
rubadik365:
im joe
GentlemanBrock:
I am thoroughly pleased to make your acquaintance, Joseph.
rubadik365:
my name is Joelesin
rubadik365: Brock
from alabama
GentlemanBrock:
Why do you think I am residing in Alabama?
rubadik365:
because you seem illiterate
GentlemanBrock:
That is quite an odd thing to say.
GentlemanBrock:
What gives you the idea that I am illiterate?
GentlemanBrock:
Is it my spelling and punctuation?
rubadik365:
because of the manner in which you speak
GentlemanBrock:
Are my verbs too passive?
GentlemanBrock:
Are my participles dangling too low for your tastes?
GentlemanBrock:
Are my terrific adjectives too awkwardly placed?
GentlemanBrock:
If so, I will attempt to conform to your standards, Joseph.
rubadik365:
you need to buy a dictionary and eat it
GentlemanBrock:
I have not done that with my dictionary before, but I shall try it
tomorrow.
rubadik365:
is your mother aware of your perverted ways?
GentlemanBrock:
My mother is sleeping right now.
rubadik365:
will you sneak into your parents room and deficate on their bed
GentlemanBrock:
I don't understand why I would do that when I have a perfectly
functioning and empty toilet in the restroom.
rubadik365:
it has nothing to do with plumbing...
GentlemanBrock:
I can fill it up at any time, as often as I wish.
rubadik365:
its the statement that a bowel movement makes...crapping on their bed
will prove to them your affection towards them
GentlemanBrock:
Though at this hour, I would not flush the toilet.
GentlemanBrock:
It might wake the house.
GentlemanBrock:
Well, Joseph, perhaps you and I show our affection in different ways.
GentlemanBrock:
For now, I will keep my bowels within myself and out of my parents'
bedroom, thank you very much.
GentlemanBrock:
Let's steer the conversation in a different direction, Joseph.
rubadik365:
you are speaking in iambic pantameter
GentlemanBrock:
How was your day today?
rubadik365:
like i said, it was okay
GentlemanBrock:
That is wonderful to hear.
GentlemanBrock:
I don't recall asking you that already.
GentlemanBrock:
I am sorry.
rubadik365:
you should not apologize
GentlemanBrock:
I am sorry for apologizing.
rubadik365:
how doth the little crocodile keep his tail so shiny and bright?
GentlemanBrock:
Oh, a riddle!
GentlemanBrock:
I love a good riddle.
rubadik365:
you are a freakin quack
GentlemanBrock:
Let's see, crocodiles like to swim in the mud...
GentlemanBrock:
Therefore, I'd say he rubs his tail with pieces of bark from the cypress
trees!
GentlemanBrock:
That is a rather odd riddle.
GentlemanBrock:
I am not sure I understand it.
rubadik365:
are you still there kind sir??
GentlemanBrock:
Yes, I am pondering your riddle from earlier.
rubadik365:
ohh, its nit a ruddle
GentlemanBrock:
I am sorry if I let our conversation become stale.
GentlemanBrock:
I will forget the mind-twister and concentrate on the discussion at
hand.
GentlemanBrock:
So, how was your day?
rubadik365:
it was really good
rubadik365:
thank you for asking
rubadik365:
how was your day
GentlemanBrock:
You are very welcome.
GentlemanBrock:
My day was rather eventful, but pleasant, indeed.
GentlemanBrock:
Thank you for asking.
rubadik365:
may i tell you what happend to me today?
GentlemanBrock:
Oh please do!
GentlemanBrock:
Indulge yourself!
GentlemanBrock:
I love a good story!
rubadik365:
it is kind of embarrassing
rubadik365:
dont mind if i tell you
rubadik365:
...'
GentlemanBrock:
A gentleman can handle anything, Joseph.
GentlemanBrock:
Even an embarrasing story from a good friend.
GentlemanBrock:
Pardon my misspelling above.
rubadik365:
Today I video taped myself pooping on my paretns bed....when I was in
the middle squatting over their pillows taking a bowel movement, my
daddy opened the door to see my terd dangling half way out of my
behind....
rubadik365:
he stood there frozen, his eyes wide open from shock.
GentlemanBrock:
Well, according to you, that is how you say, "I love you, Father."
rubadik365:
he asked me "son, why are you deficating on my bed?" and i replied..."I
hate you!!!!"
GentlemanBrock:
So I don't see why you are ashamed about it.
GentlemanBrock:
That was not a nice thing to tell your father.
rubadik365:
the point its, i wouldnt want my children to behave like i do
GentlemanBrock:
Then teach your children to be better than you are.
GentlemanBrock:
A gentleman always instructs others, even those whom he should not be
instructing.
rubadik365: and
that is why i video tape things, so when i go home to my wife, we
can have family time and watch what i do at my parents house
GentlemanBrock:
Your wife must be very lovely.
GentlemanBrock:
I should like to meet the whole family one day.
rubadik365:
would you like to meet tomorow
GentlemanBrock:
Oh, that would be lovely!
rubadik365:
when and where brock?
GentlemanBrock:
I can get Tedrick to make us up a picnic basket.
GentlemanBrock:
Well, I live in Louisiana.
rubadik365:
could we all maybe lie together on the blanket and do eachother up the
ass?
GentlemanBrock:
I am not sure what you mean by that.
rubadik365:
ummm, i think we should undress ourselves and then have an orgy
GentlemanBrock:
But whatever pleases my friends, pleases me.
rubadik365:
a family orgy
rubadik365:
its all in warm fun
GentlemanBrock:
I think the picnic will be enough fun for one day.
rubadik365:
may i admit somthing to you?
GentlemanBrock:
Yes.
GentlemanBrock:
I am listening to you.
rubadik365:
one time, a couple months ago, i became overly angery at this person
driving beside me...so i took my pocket knife and threw it our the
window towards their vehicle, it poked the tire and it burst causing
the car to veer off the road and flip a few times....
GentlemanBrock:
Is that your entire story?
rubadik365:
no
GentlemanBrock:
I must admit to you that I am tempted to report this to the authorities,
but I shall refrain since you are telling me this in confidence.
GentlemanBrock:
A gentleman never goes back on his word, even if that word is, "Peanut."
rubadik365: i
pulled over to the side of the road to see if he was alright and i
saw him climbing out of his car..so i knew he was still alive...so i
helped him out of his car...
GentlemanBrock:
Yes...
rubadik365:
then i pushed him into the dried up creek and then kicked him in the
head until he no longer did anything
GentlemanBrock:
That is quite a story, Joey.
rubadik365:
yeaa
rubadik365:
i think that was when i learned a valuable lesson
GentlemanBrock:
Any lesson is valuable, Joel.
rubadik365:
i learned that my shoes needed to be replaced, had i not repeatedly kick
him in the head, i would have never noticed the whole in the toe of
my shoe
rubadik365:
so i took that mans wallet and bought myself a brand new pair of Michael
Jordan shoes
GentlemanBrock:
The sole is a beautiful and complex thing, Joe-Jon.
rubadik365:
why are you calling me joe jon
rubadik365:
you fucking asshole
GentlemanBrock:
I am so sorry, Jon.
GentlemanBrock:
I have a terrible confession of my own to make.
rubadik365:
i told you my name is joelesn
rubadik365:
joelesin
rubadik365:
whats your confession
GentlemanBrock:
I am very incompetent when it comes to remembering names.
GentlemanBrock:
Even when it is the name of a good friend.
rubadik365:
that makes your a damn retard
GentlemanBrock:
I was not aware that I had brain damage of any kind.
GentlemanBrock:
Thank you for diagnosing me.
rubadik365:
stop tickling me
rubadik365:
(chuckle chuckle)
GentlemanBrock:
Joely, I am not tickling you, though I will tell a joke if you wish.
rubadik365:
sta op! will you please take your finger out of my ass?!
GentlemanBrock:
I am not in the room with you, I believe.
rubadik365:
hahaha, its not funny anymore, i think i am bleeding now
rubadik365:
you fucking whore
GentlemanBrock:
Your language is not befitting of a gentleman.
rubadik365:
never again is are any of your digits allowed near my asscheeks
rubadik365:
you language is stupid
rubadik365:
i suggest you pinch your balls in a vide
rubadik365:
vice
GentlemanBrock:
I do not own such a device.
rubadik365:
here is a present...
GentlemanBrock:
I love a good present.
rubadik365:
8===> ~o ~o ~0
rubadik365:
eat it
GentlemanBrock:
That is charming.
rubadik365:
I am leaving now
GentlemanBrock:
I did not realize you were so artistically talented.
GentlemanBrock:
Thank you for sharing your soul with me, Joely.
rubadik365:
next time you decide to message me, please talk ebonics
GentlemanBrock:
I am not familiar with that language.
rubadik365:
otherwise, i will track down your IP address and take a baseball bat to
your computer
GentlemanBrock:
That is not a nice thing to tell a friend.
rubadik365:
ummm, i am going to jump off my balcony now...head first
rubadik365:
shut up anus
rubadik365:
you human sapository
GentlemanBrock:
I would not recommend such an activity this late at night.
rubadik365:
fuck you
GentlemanBrock:
I would not recommend that either.
rubadik365:
my hands need lotion
rubadik365:
BYE
GentlemanBrock:
Good-bye, Jospehine!
GentlemanBrock:
It was a lovely chat!
GentlemanBrock:
Do you agree that it was a lovely chat?
GentlemanBrock:
I will take your silence to mean that I have offended you in some way.
rubadik365:
you make me sick
GentlemanBrock:
I am trying to aplogize for doing that.
GentlemanBrock:
And now I'm mistyping and getting flustered myself.
GentlemanBrock:
Perhaps we should discuss all of this tomorrow.
rubadik365:
no
GentlemanBrock:
Does that sound good to you, Jo?
rubadik365:
no
GentlemanBrock:
What is the problem?
rubadik365:
dont be sorry
rubadik365:
just do everbody a favor and melt chocolate cheese all over your back
and let it dry for a day
GentlemanBrock:
Why can I not be sorry?
GentlemanBrock:
All right, I shall give that a try.
GentlemanBrock:
If that will mend our friendship.
rubadik365:
yup byebye
GentlemanBrock:
Wonderful!
rubadik365:
by zack
GentlemanBrock:
Good-bye to you!
GentlemanBrock:
Farewell, friend.
GentlemanBrock:
The name is Brock, by the way.
rubadik365:
oh, sorry, jack
GentlemanBrock:
It is quite all right, old chum.
GentlemanBrock:
Think nothing of it.
rubadik365:
ok, ill chum in your mouth
rubadik365:
and hopfully some will squirt you in the eyes and it will burn really
bad
GentlemanBrock:
I am glad we can joke with each other like this.
rubadik365:
ive never made a joke
GentlemanBrock:
It is the sign of a healthy relationship.
rubadik365:
you slut
rubadik365:
you are gay
rubadik365:
i hate you for being a dumbass donkey humper
GentlemanBrock:
Oh, I am absolutely delighted tonight!
rubadik365:
dumbass
rubadik365:
dont read what i say
rubadik365:
just eat it
rubadik365:
ok bye
GentlemanBrock:
Yes, Joe, goodnight!
rubadik365 signed off at 2:11:24 AM.
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