Gentleman Brock's Book

The Semi-Complete Guide to Sort of Being a Gentleman might be the most irresponsible book written since The Bible. And a bible it is, in its own right, for the billions of men alive today who have no clue how to behave in public or private situations.

Drawing from literally thousands of his countless private journals and personal scribblings, author Sir Gentleman Brock LaBorde, Esquire, this century’s self-proclaimed Master of Social Etiquette, painstakingly outlines his complex and erroneous guidelines for the impossible attainment of the ambiguous title of “gentleman”.

Impolitely smearing the footsteps left by previous well-respected etiquette gurus, Gentleman Brock pompously dissects all aspects of a modern gentleman’s life, including:

• Knowing when to mutilate yourself

• The proper way to burp the Pope

• Inviting yourself to parties

• Extreme handkerchief maintenance

• Dispensing needless advice to strangers

The Semi-Complete Guide to Sort of Being a Gentleman is valuable for any man who wishes to learn how not to act in his everyday life. It is also valuable because a certain amount of paper, money, paper money, and other resources were used to print and distribute this book.

Excerpt #2 from Gentleman Brock's Book
When on a date with a young lady, a gentleman opts to pick up the check for her food only if he feels he may get the chance to at least fondle her breasts later.
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Excerpt #1 from Gentleman Brock's Book
Men throughout time have been faced with the seemingly impossible task of remaining respectable and orderly, even when they should be allowed to act however they please.  Women have been the customary authorities of standards of behavior that men should live up to.  Experts such as Stanley Shuppinski and Sir Gentleman Brock, Esquire, have also greatly influenced these standards.
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Columns

Gentleman Brock's Advice Column #1
Dear Gentleman Brock,
            I think the pastor at my church knows that I am a virgin and I also think that he might be my dad. But that's not my problem, nor is it my question to you. As a matter of fact, I wish I had left it out of this letter, since it has nothing to do with my real problem. My real problem is this: I get sexually aroused every time I see my sister’s bra in the laundry basket. What does this mean?
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Gentleman Brock's Guest Column on Enduring Vision Dot Com!
A pleasant afternoon and an increasingly pleasant evening to you all. I am Sir Gentleman Brock, Esquire, and I shall be your resident columnist today on this conglomeration of humor that is known as The Enduring Vision. You may or may not recognize my name, my exquisite prose, and/or my handsome photograph from the entertainment website, www.studio8.net. If not, I apologize for not being more popular and well-known. If so, then please excuse my absence from my usual place and forgive me for confusing you.
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AOL Victims

Gentleman Brock AOL Victim #1
"An Explanation"
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Gentleman Brock AOL Victim #2
"A Gentleman in Need"
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Gentleman Brock AOL Victim #3
"A Gentle Attempt"
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Gentleman Brock AOL Victim #4
"A Pleasant Evening"
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Gentleman Brock AOL Victim #5
"The Gayest Gentleman in the World"
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Audio Skit

Download Gentleman Brock
A track from the Studio 8 release "Stall 4," free for you to download. For more information on Stall 4, visit the music section.
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Gentleman Brock regularly posts on the Studio 8 Forum.