Above: Me just hanging out by myself with the good ole' TV and some good ole' chocolates! (My hair was long!)

       A while back, my mother came to visit for the weekend.  She was constantly talking and moving around, which really got on my nerves.  That’s probably what it would be like if I had any other company, especially a boy, in my apartment.  It’s just not worth the hassle.

       I think being fat and ugly has other advantages, too.  At restaurants I can eat alone, not having to waste time on conversation between bites.  Also, at the store I can take care of my business and return home as quickly as possible.  No one stops me on campus to take up my time when I go to and from class.

       Sometimes I look around my humble abode, satisfied with the stillness and silence that hangs in the air like a big smothering blanket and I think, “Yeah.  I kinda like this.”  Then I watch a pornographic movie and afterwards think, “No, I was wrong.  I love this.” 

       I love my lonesome, fat, boring, life so much that I cry myself to sleep every night just from thinking about it.

       So don’t even think about coming to my apartment at Blueberry Hills, Apt. #43.  And don’t call me at (884) 945-2130, either.  Also, you can forget emailing me at fatnuglychick@ugly.fat.  I won’t reply to you, especially if you are a handsome guy who likes dating overweight, unattractive, shy girls. 

       I’m just happy with me and nobody else.
 

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