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Special Report:
A BIG look at Big Dog's Spring '04 Lineup!
With
the biggest BIG DOG of them all, Samuel "Big Dog" Booksie
Take a
little look outside and it's easy to see what's happening in the air.
The sun is shining, the air is changing, and the clouds are forming giant
floating pillows that almost put me to sleep just by looking at them! Make no
mistake about it - it's time to clean out my closet and restock it chock full
of new Big Dog merch!
A lot goes into being a BIG DOG - confidence, the
ability to say what is on your mind, and an insatiable appetite to never
settle for anything less. That goes for everything from personal relationships
to bar-be-ques - both of which can either turn your stomach or turn you
on!
So I'm going to give you the sweet run-down on this
spring's new collection of Big Dog apparel and you know you'll just love it,
or my name isn't Sammy "Big Dog" Booksie!
T-Shirt 1:
If You Can't BBQ With The BIG DOGS Stay Away From The PIT!
This one is a "must-have" for every big dog who likes to BBQ or cook -
and I don't know of a true BIG DOG who doesn't like to do those
things! What thrills me the most about wearing this shirt is the fact
that the BIG DOG portrayed in this graphic looks very proud. It's easy
to feel proud when then the main focal character on your T-shirt
feels proud. I could see myself inviting people to a BBQ that I might
have in my own backyard while wearing this T - with a bib on for when it's
time to chow down, of course! I wouldn't want to ruin this beautiful
baby with a bunch of BBQ sauce!
Will I get this shirt? Yes.
T-Shirt 2: Do I Look Like a FREAKIN' People-Person?
It's hard not to laugh at the sight of this T,
however, it's much easier to abide by the text on the T, believe me. I
know first-hand that BIG DOG T's are carefully designed to make even
the meanest man a softy at heart, but every now and then, it's much
easier to just wear your heart on your sleeve - or in this case, your
mood on your T! I can definitely see myself keeping a couple of these
shirts to keep around my car and house, because you never know when a
bad mood will strike you.
Will I get this shirt? Double yes.
T-Shirt 3: KING of the FREAKIN' REMOTE!
When I wear this T, there will be no doubt about who is in
charge of what is on the TV. I don't care who is over, or even
if I had a girlfriend or roommates or friends or anything. You can't tell me what
to watch. You can't tell me how to spend my mornings, afternoons,
evenings, and nights! (Yes, as you can tell, there is definitely a
rebel in me. Wearing this shirt just puts more emphasis on how
rebellious I can get!) The bottom line is just don't touch my remote or
I'll gobble you up like a BIG DOG gobbles kittens! It's good to be
king...
Will I get this shirt? Yes.
T-Shirt 4: All I Want Is...EVERYTHING! Is That a Problem?
Everyone knows that the main priority of a BIG DOG
T is to put a smile on as many faces as possible, but especially HIS
OWN. Can you think of a
better reason to smile than when you have everything? I admit, I plan
on feeling like a bit of a king while wearing this T. It's hard not to
feel that way when even looking at this T - a man sitting in
his recliner with a bowl of cereal, the remote control (see above T-shirt), a foxy lady wearing something cool walking around - WHOA!
Don
this shirt and watch the royalty unfold! If anything, this shirt will
at least send the message that anything less than everything just
isn't enough for a true BIG DOG! Gotta get the word out, baby!
Will I get this shirt? I have to!
 T-Shirt
5: I
Don't FETCH and I Don't BEG!
Feel like making a statement? Don't feel like
talking? Then just wear this shirt! I've already ordered this shirt
and trust me, it's an excellent way to just get some personal ME-TIME! I've
worn it three days in a row and have had almost zero distractions
every day! I even wore it to the grocery store. That place is full of
people. If all it takes is a T to get some ME-time, then I why don't I
order a case??? (Oh yeah - the wallet might take a beating on that one!)
Will I get this shirt? Been there, done that.
T-Shirt 6:
FBI: Female Body Inspector
Any time you take a classic abbreviation (FBI) and take
it to the next level with a clever new take, it's going to make a
great T. It's no coincidence that the creative department over at BIG
DOG has come up with their very own spin-off of this well-known
abbreviation (FBI). I will wear this T whenever I know that I'm going
to be in the mood to check out the ladies!
Hey, I don't have a wife, so this lone dog can get away with that sort
of thing. Plus, this shirt will help the ladies be more comfortable
around me because they'll have some sort of an idea
of what I am up to!
Will I get this shirt? Hell yes!
 T-Shirt
7: I
May Be a REAL GOOD MAN But I'm a REAL BAD DOG
This is the only BIG DOG T that confuses me. I'm not exactly sure what
it means, but the look on that dog's face is a look of strong proud
passion - something that a lot of men lack in this day and age of
increased homosexuality and feminine hygiene products. My thinking is that any
man brave enough to wear this shirt and emulate the BIG DOG
simultaneously will be taken very seriously. What more could a
man (or dog) ask for? (Don't say everything!) I plan on crossing my
arms while wearing this T, just like the Big Dog on the T.
Will I get this shirt? Yes, you don't even have to ask.
 T-Shirt
8: FREEDOM
ISN'T FREE
While most BIG DOG T's are custom designed
to be worn whenever the heck you feel like it, this one has more of a
weekend feel to it. That might be because people regularly associate
the weekend with speaking their minds and unfolding their bodies, I
don't really know. What I do know is that on those Saturday afternoons
when almost anything could happen, I'm probably going to be sporting
this T. Hopefully, I can remind a few snot-nosed kids that this freedom that
we all share ain't free. Also, this shirt wasn't free, either, so read
it and respect it! That goes for terrorists, too, if they can read
American words!
Will I get this shirt? Yes.
 T-Shirt
9: Unless
You're The LEAD DOG, the SCENERY Never CHANGES!
Ha! Never before have I had such a fun time wearing
a shirt.
What I find most fun about this one is that a really good message is
sort of hidden behind the comical and humorous approach that this T
takes. Yeah, it's hard to get serious when looking at a BIG DOG's BIG
OLE' BOOTY, but give it a try. It's all about believing in your own
self and looking for success. (In case you're wondering how I already
got a hold of this one, I get to specially pre-order one new T every
season with my exclusive BIG DOG charge account. Not a bad deal for
only $34.95 a year.)
Will I get this shirt? Got it.
 T-Shirt
10: This
WORKING OUT Thing Isn't WORKING OUT!
I admit, every couple of months or so, I grab
hold of a new piece of mind and start working out! I usually join a
local gym and sign up for a 6 month membership plan (some have year
minimums), and I spend about 20 minutes or so there once or twice a
week. Well, usually I get burned out pretty quickly, which I don't
like, and I end up crashing on the sofa or at a buffet or something,
which I do like, so I hardly ever go back to that club. So,
technically, I need this shirt for times like that, which is all the
time.
Will I get this shirt? If I don't, I'll feel weak and fat.
 T-Shirt
11:
I
Don't Do Mornings!
And who does? Anyone who does
certainly has no business even thinking about wearing this T! I'm
never excited about mornings, but the possibility of hanging this T in
my closet does get me a little tickled! But it has caused a bit of a
dilemma in my noggin. What if I fell asleep while wearing this T and didn't
wake up until the morning? Would I rocket right out of that morning
funk (because I'm excited about the T) or would I lounge around that
extra little bit (as a tribute to the T I'm wearing)? I don't know,
but I'll keep everyone updated, I assure you all!
Will I get this shirt? Hopefully before tomorrow morning!
This may be the end of my Spring 2004 look at BIG DOG T's, but don't even think
that that's all the T's that BIG DOG has to offer. I haven't even gotten my
sneak peek at the summer lineup, not to mention next winter's awesome
long-sleeved airbrushed creations of genius! Let's
not forget about all the Big Dog clothes for toddlers and females, too! It's
almost too much to handle! Good luck to me and remember, if you roam
with a BIG DOG, you better expect to bark up the right trees!
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