|
Barbara Stanson
Barbara Stanson is hands-down the fattest Studio 8 character. However, she has
no concept of that. It's all right, though, because we'll still allow her to
express her stupid opinions to the world in one of her many dorky articles. Our
only hope is that Barbara never visits studio8.net to find out how we truly feel
about her.
|
Favorite Food: |
Anything breaded and fried. |
|
Second Favorite
Food: |
Everything else. |
|
Least Favorite
Food: |
"Anything I've already partially digested, but have accidentally burped up." |
|
Least Favorite
Diet: |
Any diet that limits your food intake or encourages exercise. |
It Must Be
Buff-“fate”!
Being on
the road is definitely not as easy as pie, and it definitely doesn’t
taste as good. My mom and I are on a special “girls only” road trip
to some antique stores in Delaware. Since it’s like a 100-hour
drive, I’ve had to put up with candy bar after candy bar on the way
up here (Mom only stops for gas, so I’m forced to get candy and
Cokes every two hours or so). Sure, we‘ve stayed at some hotels
along the way, but even I don’t really go for hotel food. It just
tastes so cheap! But I’ll still eat it, though.
continue...
I'm Getting Way Too Skinny
Working long hours twice a week at the concession stand of the most
popular bowling alley in town (the only bowling alley in town)
certainly has its perks – my own brass-plated name badge, unlimited
free Cherry Dr. Pepper Slurpees, constant access to my best friend,
Bryan (she drives the lane wax buffer), and the occasional opportunity
to serve nachos to a really hot guy or two. Sometimes when it’s slow,
I even get paid to sit around and watch TV. But now I’ve discovered
that my job holds a new perk that’s really not much of a perk at all –
all of this work is making me WAY too skinny!
continue...
Getting Fat is Harder than Being Fat
It takes a big heart to feel big feelings. I
must have been born with one because lately I’ve been taking a lot of things
to heart. It’s funny how the harsh words of one rude person can tear down the
biggest dreams of another person who is not really rude or even very mean.
What am I getting at? Well, I
think I can sum it up with this little maxim that I created the other day:
Getting fat is harder than being fat.
continue...
You Couldn't Make
an Interesting Sandwich If You Wanted To
There are a few things in life that make me want to vomit. One
of those things is vomit. Another one is whenever I see perfectly good
food being thrown away. But perhaps the worst things that makes me vomit
the most, Bryan, is hearing you say that you can make a more interesting
sandwich than I can. You and I both know that you couldn’t make an
interesting sandwich even if you wanted to.
continue...
I Just Had the Most Amazing Piece of Chicken
Oh God! I can’t get over this exquisite piece of fried chicken that I just
ate! For the past hour, I’ve been staring in silence at a pile of very empty
bones in utter awe and shock…wow.
I could try to describe what just happened to me, but there is no way I could
ever think up all the words necessary to do it any proper justice.
continue...
Why Are People Always
Throwing Food at Me?
Today,
something kind of strange happened to me. Actually, it’s quickly becoming a
regular occurrence in my life. I was walking back home from the Sno-Ball Shak
down the block (usually I drive, but my car has been making funny noises),
when all of the sudden I hear a car honk and someone yell out, “Hey!”
continue...
My Favorite Part About
Being Fat and Ugly is the Quiet Weekends
The other day I
was enjoying a pornographic movie in which a couple was having sex rather loudly
in various areas and positions around their house. It got
me thinking about my own tiny apartment and how uncomfortably noisy
it could get if I was attractive enough to bring men back to my place for
recreational sex.
continue...
HotorNot.com sure is a Self-Esteem Booster!!!
A few nights ago, I rented some Aaron Carter
videos by myself and ran through the remains of a box of Whoppers I found in my
upstairs fridge. After the movies, I decided to waste the night away again on
the internet. I was just surfing around when I stumbled onto HotorNot.com. I
thought, "Hey, what a fun way to pass the time til breakfast!"
continue...
Somebody Better Tell Me Who
Did What to My Cake!
I can't believe this! I turn my back for one minute to get a swig of thick and
creamy chocolate milk, and when I turn back around, my brand new German Chocolate Cake has been split
right down its middle!
continue...
All
I Ever Think About Anymore is My Favorite Ice Cream
I’d like to know why lately
I can’t seem to concentrate on anything except for my favorite flavor of ice
cream. Whether I’m driving to the store or renting a video or talking to my
parents on the phone, I end up just getting lost and forgetting what I’m doing
because I’m thinking so much about spoonful after spoonful of delicious
vanilla ice cream going into my mouth.
continue...
Back
to Characters Main
|
