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Brutal Victims
eBay is filled with
the hopes, dreams, and worthless trinkets of millions and trillions
of suckers and cyber-hucksters. And while it is slightly encouraging as a
green-blooded American to see such a vast, unbridled display of free
enterprise and blind consumerism, some auctioneers just deserve to
be fiddled with. Thus, we've created Studio 8's Fun With
eBay - a
ruthless social experiment that delves deep into the darkness within
all of us. Basically, we just found some nerdy auctions and asked
the sellers a bunch of stupid questions.
Auction 1
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| Studio 8: So a few years ago I bought this car that had a Halloween tape stuck in it and that's all I could listen to because the radio was broken, too. Anyway, it was a really spooky tape and it made me not want to drive my car after dark. I was wondering if this was the same tape because I lost that car. The tape started out with a song that sounded like Michael Jackson's Thriller, but then it went into all kinds of scary things like howling and gurgling and chains rattling and then a bold psychotic man would scream Happy Halloween! I almost wrecked my car every time he said that! One time I got so frightened and upset, I punched and slapped at my car and left it in the middle of traffic on the interstate. So as you can imagine, I really want to get my hands on that tape to hear it again. Any help is appreciated! |
| Them: sorry i dont think this is the same cassette, but it does have a lot of spooky & scarry sounds on it . thanks brian |
| Studio 8: Yeah, it's not surprising that your tape isn't the same tape that tormented me for all those years, but I'm sure I haven't seen the last of that tape anyway. One day I bet I'm going to be stepping into the shower or something and poof - there it will be, laughing at me! Now about your tape, are there any werewolf sounds on it? I'm currently shooting a movie about a scary werewolf man and I need some growls and grunts for my hideous werewolf creature because the actor just isn't able to make the wolf monster sound scary enough. |
| Them: DONT QUOTE ME ON THIS BUT I BELIVE THERE IS SOME WEREWOLF SOUNDS ON THE CASSETTE. HAVE NOT PLAYED THE TAPE SINCE LAST HALLOWEEN, BUT I KNOW THERE IS ALL KINDS OF DIFFERENT SOUNDS & SCREAMS ON THIS CASSETTE. HOPE THIS WILL HELP & GOOD LUCK BIDDING!! |
| Studio 8: Thank you for your help, but I just found an Ebay auction for a cassette tape of whales mooing and flopping their tails around and it's a little cheaper and I think I could make it sound close enough to a werewolf. Also, I'm still kind of scared that your tape might be the tape that gave me chilling nightmares night after night. Be on the lookout for my movie next year. It's called "The Land of Werewolfs" and it stars Jaleel White as the werewolf king. Thanks! |
| Them: good luck with your movie we will be looking for it in theaters it's too bad you couldn't use my cassette for it. |
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The Final Verdict: Overall, a nice friendly exchange. Despite his angry all-caps second response, we took it one more step further. And are we glad we did because now we have a new fan awaiting our new werewolf movie in theaters next year! Now we have to call Urkel and start shooting that sucker! |
Auction 2
1998 Brunswick GA High School Yearbook
9" X 12" and 344 pages. Has some writting inside the front and back (none inside the book). Otherwise, in Good condition.
| Studio 8: Hey man, I was looking at your yearbook pictures when something caught my eyes! One of the girls in there looks like a girl I went to high school with and I was wondering if that was her. Her name was Jeannie Short and I always had a crush on her and want to know how to get in touch with her. Could you look in the yearbook on that page and see if it's her? It's weird that she would be in that yearbook because we went to Danley Martin High in Nebraska and you are selling a Georgia yearbook. Go Flippers! |
| Them: I checked the names in the yearbook. The name Jeannie Short is not in the book. |
| Studio 8: Hey, dude, what's up? So Jeannie Short isn't in there, huh? It looks like some people signed it on the inside cover, though. You don't think she signed it, do you? I mean, I just really want to get in touch with her...she owes me money and I've been searching the internet everywhere for her and that picture in the picture really looks like her. I'll check some of the other yearbook auctions out there, but so far yours seems like the best clue I've found... |
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The Final Verdict: Ok, this guy didn't want to play much. But he did look through the yearbook for our beloved Jeannie, so that's something. This guy sells a lot of yearbooks. Does he collect them? Or does he murder random people and sell their yearbooks because nobody would sign his yearbook when he was in high school? We'll never know, just like we'll never find Jeannie Short... |
Auction 3
Disney Cast member nametags
This is a set of three
exclusive Disney member nametags. One is the plain red banded tag
from the Studio in California. The other two are from Walt Disney
World - one is a 25th celebration tag and the other is a 20th year
celebration tag. The 20th celebration tag also has a cast member 5
year pin with Donald Duck. Here is a chance to own not only three
wonderful collectible nametags but a rare 5 year cast member pin
also.
| Studio 8: I'm not sure if these pins are what I want for Christmas, but boy do they look fantastic! Is there any way I could get the names on them changed to something else, like Derek or Nathaniel? The Donald Duck picture is very exciting as well. So I know I want that, but again, if it says Patty on it, I might have to reconsider what's going on here. Thanks, Corey |
| Them: Names cannot be changed, these were from when I was an employee and they are engraved on. Sorry. |
| Studio 8: Ok, so I guess I can deal with the whole Patty thing. But do you think that I could wear these pins and use them to sneak into Disneyworld (as long as I dress up like a Patty, of course)? I do have a friend Patty who could easily get away with it, I think, but I might have more trouble pulling it off. Also, why is the Donald Duck pin not pictured? I've been thinking about it all night! Thanks, Corey |
| Them: I put the wrong pin in the picture. Sorry - It is the same pin but with a bronze colored small 5 year cast pin with Donald on it. Thanks! - Patty |
| Studio 8: Oh I understand. "These things happen," as they say in Epcot Center. Speaking of which, would these employee badges work to get me into Epcot for free? Or just Disneyworld? My friend Patty is really excited about the trip now (me and my big mouth!) and I want to make sure these pins give me the most bang for my bucks (or should I say DUCKS)! |
| Them: The one with the red band is from the Studio in Calif. The other two are from WDW. I don't know if they'll work or not. You have to be dressed properly as well. My guess is that they won't work unless you know someone who can get you "backstage" first and enter from there. Thanks! |
| The Final Verdict: Wow, because of her greed and desire to sell her old ID badges, Patty betrayed her former employer and even gave us some advice on how to pull off our brilliant scheme to sneak into Disneyworld. The real question is: What exactly does a Patty look like? |
Auction 4
2 Vintage Mexican Miniature Plates with Clay Food
CUTE!
These are so cute and unusual I could not resist
buying them. They are actually doll size 2" and 3" glass plates with
veggies made out of clay. Great for the collector of miniatures!
| Studio 8: I have 2 dolls who I think would really enjoy these fake clay plastic plate figurines! However, I wonder if the plates are of the proper size and weight for my dolls??? One of the dolls is of Garfield the Cat Man and is roughly 3" tall and 4 1/2" long. The other doll is of Roger Rabbit the Cartoon Bunny and he is kind of small and very cute. Also, what kind of Mexican foods will I find on these plates because I suspect that my cute dolls are very picky about what they pretend to eat!!!! |
| Them: The larger plate is 3 1/2 and is aplate of vegatables, Roger may like this plate - corn, carrot tomato, potato,and eggplant. The smaller plate is 2 1/4 and has a tortilla, red chilli pepper, jalapeno, tamale and green pepper...does Garfeild like spicey food? These plates are so detailed and unusual! |
| Studio 8: There's no doubt about the plates being cute and unusual, but I'm not so sure I want to give Roger Rabbits a plate of food that wouldn't totally make his ears blush with delight. See, he doesn't like a potato or an eggplant, so that makes me pause in thought right there. But I've got him on a new diet anyway, so maybe I should just go for it! Now as fas as Garfield is concerned, he likes anything spicy as long as it's LASAGNA!!! Are the tiny vegetables removable in case I want to just throw away the peppers and tortillas in favor of this teensy weensy lasagna I made for Garfield to eat? I sure hope so because the plates are too exotic to just pass by! |
| Them: I think the food could easilyy be removed. it looks as though it is clued on. The food is clay and the plates are glass and it appears to have just a dab of glue under the food...it may not be an eggplant it acutally looks more like a radish so maybe Roger woul not mind that..or you could paint it so he thinks its a carrot! |
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The Final Verdict: Sadly enough, this auction ended during their second response, so we let it go. Somehow this person managed to match our faux-enthusiasm for imaginary miniature creatures pretending to eat fake tiny foods. Oh well, Roger Rabbit and Garfield will just starve to death for now! |
Auction 5
Lot of 300 Plus Firemen's Mugs, Etc.
The picture only shows
a few of the 317 mugs in this lot. The mugs come in various colors,
shapes, and sizes.Most of the mugs are firemen related. (Different
fire departments, associations, rescue squads, first aid squads, etc
) There is only about maybe 6 or so that have no firemen theme. Most
of the mugs are in excellent condition. There will be a few that
might be chipped, cracked, or faded. There is about 24 duplicates.
About 19 from the 1960's, about 192 from the 70's, about 86 from the
80's and about 20 from the 90's or with no date. Most of the mugs
are from the New Jersey area, and some others from mainly New York
or Pa area. Also keep in mind that these mugs were displayed on
shelves, so there is going to be dust in the mugs. I will tried to
answer any questions that you have but keep in mind the mugs are now
being stored in boxes wrapped in newspaper. I made a quick list of
the mugs and could e-mail or fax a copy. I do not planned to ship
this lot, there is just to many boxes. You will need to pick this up
at my place or e-mail if you live nearby (200 miles or so) and maybe
we can work something out. Lot is being sold as is and sales final,
so please ask questions beforehand.
| Studio 8: One of the mugs in the picture has a little fireman's hat on it. If I purchase these mugs, how will I be able to drink out of that mug if it has a hat on it? Also, are there any other mugs that I won't be able to drink out of that I should know about? |
| Them: As I said in the listing these mugs are packed in boxes and I would not be able to check it or remember what box it is in. However, if I remember correctly, the hat could be lifted or removed to drink out of. It would be the same with any others that might be in the lot. Just remember, as I said these were on shelves and will be dusty snd will need to be cleaned. Also I will not shipped this lot, so it must be picked up or e-mail me to see if I could deliver. Thanks for your interest and good luck if you decide to bid. Don. |
| Studio 8: Picking up the mugs is no problem since I planned on driving my cherry-red 2-seater Sportster across the US anyway. The only thing is, I hesitate to make the long haul to your house to grab those mugs if some of them are either too dirty to drink out of or are covered in silly hats that limit the mug's drinking capacity! But I'm a betting man, (14 and 0, baby!) and I'm willing to bet that you have a water hose or perhaps a washateria near your house where I could clean those mugs before I put them in my pristine American automobile. Is this possible? P.S. - Are dogs allowed at your house (small dogs)? |
| Them: I believe there were only a couple that had lids (hats), and I am sure they can be removed as I said. If you want to unpack and clean them that also would not be a problem. I have no problem with dogs. The only problem I could see is that would you have enough room in your Sportster? There is alot of mugs in this lot. Don. |
| Studio 8: Thanks for being so understandable about my dogs (small dogs). They will like your house and I'm sure they will be intrigued by all the mugs. Speaking of which, I wouldn't worry about my Sportster being able to handle all those mugs because I've attached two sidecars to it (one on either side) so one could hold my dogs and I can just tie all of the mug boxes down in the other one. Any leftovers that won't fit can be tied on the seat behind me, as long as my silly Uncle Ernie doesn't tag along. Oh! Roughly how many boxes do you think this will be and do you need anymore newspapers? I could pick some up on the way. I plan on heading out in the middle of next week. |
| Them: The mugs are in about 14 boxes. They are already in newspaper, so I won't need newspapers. Don. |
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The Final Verdict: At this point, Don is either creeped out by us or he's just tired of talking to someone about the 300+ damn firemen's mugs that he's had to re-list on Ebay about 10 times already because nobody wants them. He can't just throw all those mugs away if nobody bids, can he? That's over 300 perfectly good mugs! I have a feeling a Salvation Army in Pennsylvania is about to find 14 boxes of carefully packed and sorted firemen's mugs on its doorstep. |
Auction 6
Dickey White Turtleneck Christmas HoHoHo Sweater
This auction is for a
new, with tags, white turtleneck dickey for the Christmas holiday
season. It has the words HoHoHo printed on the collar with some
gold glitter and 4 red rhinestones. One size fits all. This looks
terrific under a shirt, sweater or sweatshirt. It is made of 50%
cotton and 50% polyester knit. I have more of this design if you
want more for gifts. Also, I have other designs....check out my
other auctions.
| Studio 8: Will this diaper fit an infant of larger proportions? My infant is rather big for her age. She's an angel, though. Please answer this rather quickly. |
| Them: This is NOT a diaper. Please read the description. A Dickey is worn under a crewneck sweatshirt or sweater to give a layered look of a turtleneck shirt. |
| Studio 8: As I said in my original questioning, my child is growing too enormous for a normal diaper to contain her frequent movements. Therefore, I must seek out more different methods and garments for her to put on under her mini-skirts and such. I mean no offense by calling your sweater a diaper, but I have to make things work for my children when they do not work out so well all the time by normal means. If you would not want me to use this item like a diaper, I will search elsewhere. |
| Them: I don't know how you would use this as a diaper! It is basically a turtleneck shirt with the sleeves and most of the body of the shirt removed. So this 'piece of material' has a hole to go over the head. If you need a larger diaper, check into 'adult' size diapers for incontinence...ask at the drug store...or train her. Saw on CNN the last week where they are potty-training kids at about 6 weeks old now. Also...I would think there would be less expensive items to use for diapers. Don't write back, this conversation is bordering on a prank! |
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The Final Verdict: These people were onto us...sort of. We definitely weirded them out, to say the least. So what could we do to weird them out even further? We bid on the Dickey! Don't believe us? Click on the picture and see for yourself! In a few days, Studio 8 Entertainment will have its very own Dickey White Turtleneck Christmas HoHoHo Sweater! You want to wear it, don't you? Shut up. You can't. It's ours. |
That's all the E-mayhem for this time around,
folks. If you like this exciting new feature, keep checking the
front page of Studio8.net for new installments of it. Later!
This piece created by
Brock &
Jared.
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