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Story in YM Magazine Mortifies Girl
Marty Turner recently learned the difficult lesson that lying just to
make friends can sometimes have the opposite effect. For years, Marty, a shy
and average-looking 14 year-old girl who is also a little fat, kept to herself
and made few friends in her large high school.
But Marty hoped to change
her image and personality by appearing in YM Magazine, a hip fashion/celebrity
worship magazine for the 12-17 year-old female audience.
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Above: Ms. Fart-Pants smiling, despite the
fact that she just soiled her pants with a wet fart.
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Marty sent a humiliating
story about herself to be published in the magazine’s “Say Anything” section,
which showcases true and embarrassing moments in young readers’ lives. A
reprint of the story follows:
'So there I was practicing a waltz in dance class with who else but the class hottie! His arm was around me
and it felt awesome. When it came time for him to dip me, I accidentally let
out a huge wet fart which trickled down my leg and onto the hottie’s shoes! I
thought, “Oh my God!” He made a disgusted face and dropped me right there in
front of everybody! I was so mortified! Now everyone calls me Marty
Fart-Pants!'
Marty claims that she
“sort of made up the wet fart story to get into the magazine and be cool and
popular.” Sadly, she failed to realize that her tale could backlash so horribly
in her face.
“When the issue came out,
I showed it to the popular people at my school, but they thought it was gross.
I tried to explain that it wasn’t true. Our high school doesn’t even have a
dance class! Now everyone calls me ‘Marty Fart-Pants,” Marty Fart-Pants
laments.
So now Marty Fart-Pants
has become well-known throughout the school in a way she didn’t quite expect.
She was just chosen to be Homecoming Queen alongside Freddie, a fellow student
with Down’s Syndrome, who will be Homecoming King. She also snagged the title
of “Fartiest Girl” in the upcoming yearbook.
Though now when Marty walks down the hall,
everyone knows her name (or at least a crude variation of it), she says, “I
would still change every single thing about my miserable life if I could. I
hate myself and everybody else in this stupid school.”
Marty then let out a huge wet fart, which ran
down her leg and onto this reporter’s shoes.
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