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AOL Victim The Nicest Fan in the World Sometimes we get IM's from nice fan people. Usually we speak to them like normal human beings, but sometimes we don't. For instance, in the convo below, we adopt the Gentleman Brock persona and try to annoy the person who IM'ed us and just wanted to say they like us. We are "GentlemanBrock." And we are also pricks. Pinkdorkysocks: Hello GentlemanBrock GentlemanBrock: And a swell day to you, madam. Pinkdorkysocks: I love reading your aol victims. GentlemanBrock: A woman's loves are of no concern to a true gentleman. Pinkdorkysocks: ok GentlemanBrock: It would not be proper for me to hear any more of it. GentlemanBrock: I would gladly discuss any other interesting topic of your choosing. Pinkdorkysocks: have you talked to any interesting people lately? GentlemanBrock: You are interesting. GentlemanBrock: How did you discover my AOL conversations, if I may be so bold to answer your question with a question? Pinkdorkysocks: i found them a couple of years, through some search engine. i don't remember what i was looking up though. I have been hooked ever since GentlemanBrock: Do you find other aspects of that website enjoyable? Pinkdorkysocks: I like the editorials. Pinkdorkysocks: Well, actually I like the whole site. It's very funny. GentlemanBrock: Forgive me for blushing. Pinkdorkysocks: It's ok GentlemanBrock: I am covering my face with my hand as I type. GentlemanBrock: But I fear that my blanching flesh is all too apparent. Pinkdorkysocks: I can't see it. GentlemanBrock: I cannot see it either, young lady. Pinkdorkysocks: Oh. GentlemanBrock: A gentleman controls his vanity by smashing all mirrors he comes across. Pinkdorkysocks: That's good. Pinkdorkysocks: How are you doing? GentlemanBrock: I thoroughly appreciate your dedicated attention to my works. Pinkdorkysocks: Your welcome. GentlemanBrock: I am doing extremely well beyond all comprehension. Pinkdorkysocks: That's good, to hear. GentlemanBrock: Have you partaken of my delicious new booklet? Pinkdorkysocks: Are you talking about your book that you wrote? GentlemanBrock: Information concerning the booklet is plastered all over Studio8.net. GentlemanBrock: Yes, indeed, I am. Pinkdorkysocks: I have read excerpts from it. I am planning to buy it though. Pinkdorkysocks: I just haven't gotten around to it yet. GentlemanBrock: I sincerely wish that I could print up thousands of copies myself and send them to every would-be gentleman in the world. GentlemanBrock: But, alas, such riches are beyond me at the present. Pinkdorkysocks: yes. Pinkdorkysocks: Well, maybe you'll make enough money from the book, that you could someday do that. GentlemanBrock: My parents refuse to allow me more than $20 (American) to spend each week. Pinkdorkysocks: Well that's alot of money GentlemanBrock: Not when you live in Burquard, Louisiana. GentlemanBrock: They use Canadian money here. GentlemanBrock: I have to buy all of my sundries with only $20 (American)! Pinkdorkysocks: Oh really? Pinkdorkysocks: What kinds of things do you buy? If you don't mind my asking. GentlemanBrock: Indeed, so my $20 (American) is worth only $10 (Canadian), which is pretty much the same as $10 (American) for a frame of reference. GentlemanBrock: So to tell you the truth, I barely have enough money to buy all of my toothbrushes every week. Pinkdorkysocks: Well, then that's not enough money. Why don't your parents buy your sundries? Pinkdorkysocks: You don't need to buy a toothbrush every week. GentlemanBrock: A gentleman never uses the same toothbrush twice. GentlemanBrock: And a gentleman brushes his teeth thoroughly before and after each meal. Pinkdorkysocks: I didn't know that. GentlemanBrock: And a gentleman eats 3 meals per day, no more, no less. Pinkdorkysocks: Well that's good. GentlemanBrock: Thus, I use roughly between 5 and 7 toothbrushes a day. Pinkdorkysocks: Wow! GentlemanBrock: That was quite some exclamation, madam. Pinkdorkysocks: How old are you? GentlemanBrock: Currently I am 37 years old. Pinkdorkysocks: I see. GentlemanBrock: Though one day soon, I may become 38 years old. Pinkdorkysocks: Well, hopefully Pinkdorkysocks: You are 20 years older than me. GentlemanBrock: I estimate that you are roughly 17 years of age. Pinkdorkysocks: yes I am. GentlemanBrock: Based on your vocabulary and conversational demeanor. Pinkdorkysocks: Are you suggesting that I have a "childish" vocabulary? GentlemanBrock: Maam, if I need to suggest something, I will either imply it or I will simply tell you what needs to be said. Pinkdorkysocks: Well that is good. At least you are straightforward. GentlemanBrock: Therefore, your vocabulary is befitting that of a typical 17-year-old. GentlemanBrock: 17 is a fine year. GentlemanBrock: You should be proud of yourself. Pinkdorkysocks: thank you Pinkdorkysocks: I am proud of myself. Pinkdorkysocks: You should be really proud of yourself, for you have written a book. GentlemanBrock: There is a smidgeon of pride on the corner of my mouth, but it is nary more than that. GentlemanBrock: Too much pride can lead to cavities. Pinkdorkysocks: Sure can. Pinkdorkysocks: What do you like to do in your spare time? GentlemanBrock: Aside from reading and looking at birds, I like to read books about bird-watching. GentlemanBrock: Might I return your inquiry? Pinkdorkysocks: I like to read, cook, bake, read stuff on Studio8 obviously. GentlemanBrock: Those seem to be fine ways to pass one's time. GentlemanBrock: Though at your age, I should hope that attending school would be on that list. Pinkdorkysocks: They are Pinkdorkysocks: It is. Pinkdorkysocks: I enjoy going to school. Pinkdorkysocks: I plan on going to College, to become a teacher. GentlemanBrock: Are you in your final year of junior schooling? Pinkdorkysocks: No. Next year is my last year. Pinkdorkysocks: What is your real name? If you don't mind my asking. GentlemanBrock: My name is Sir Gentleman Brock LaBorde, Esquire. Pinkdorkysocks: Oh I knew that. Duh. Pinkdorkysocks: I will be right back. GentlemanBrock: Have a fun time while you are not there. Pinkdorkysocks: ok i'm back GentlemanBrock: Thank you for letting me know your travel plans. GentlemanBrock: Have you gotten settled back into your chair? GentlemanBrock: I assume you are sitting in some sort of chair. Pinkdorkysocks: yes I am. Pinkdorkysocks: are you sitting in a chair? GentlemanBrock: I am reclining luxuriously on a palette of my own design. Pinkdorkysocks: Oh? You made your own chair? GentlemanBrock: Madam, it is not a chair, I must confess. Pinkdorkysocks: Oh, what is it? GentlemanBrock: It is a comfortable and elegant swath of blankets, pillows, and cushions. Pinkdorkysocks: ah Pinkdorkysocks: I see GentlemanBrock: I thought you said that you could not see me. GentlemanBrock: Here I go blushing again. Pinkdorkysocks: It's ok. GentlemanBrock: Now it is twice as bad as it was before. Pinkdorkysocks: Why is that? GentlemanBrock: Because before when I blushed, you said that you could not see me, so I removed my top-hat. But now you say that you can see me and I have been hatless for quite some time. Pinkdorkysocks: Oh, you can put your hat back on. GentlemanBrock: Now I am scrambling to find my top-hat, which I think the cat has run off with again. Pinkdorkysocks: Oh gee! GentlemanBrock: If it were legal to hunt felines with dull machetes, I think I would do that. But, alas, all we gentlemen can hunt is foxes! Pinkdorkysocks: I don't think I would hunt felines GentlemanBrock: No, I would just hunt my parents' feline. Pinkdorkysocks: That's like animal cruelty GentlemanBrock: It is a thief and cannot be trusted. GentlemanBrock: That cat commits human cruelty against me! Pinkdorkysocks: How would you feel if the cat hunted you! GentlemanBrock: I apologize for the outburst, but that cat has pushed me beyond the limits of frustration today. GentlemanBrock: It hunts my clothing accessories! Pinkdorkysocks: I understand. GentlemanBrock: Young lady, you are the only one who understands. GentlemanBrock: Might I inquire as to the revelation of your name? Pinkdorkysocks: my name is Allison. GentlemanBrock: That is a lovely name, Abraham. Pinkdorkysocks: It's Allison. Pinkdorkysocks: not abraham GentlemanBrock: Hello, Allison. You just missed Abraham, a fine young lady who was apprently using your screen name. Pinkdorkysocks: I don't know anybody named Abraham. GentlemanBrock: Drats, I misspelled "apparently" apparently. Pinkdorkysocks: Oh my! GentlemanBrock: Neither did I until a few moments ago. Pinkdorkysocks: I am going to call the spelling police on you! GentlemanBrock: I'm afraid that I've had enough run-ins with the grammatical authorities for one afternoon, thank you, Andrea. Pinkdorkysocks: it's Allison GentlemanBrock: Good afternoon, Allison. GentlemanBrock: How are you today? Pinkdorkysocks: I am fine, Brandon GentlemanBrock: Pardon me, but I believe you have mistaken me for someone else, madam. I am sorry for wasting your time in this conversation. GentlemanBrock: Tell this Brandon fellow that I said good luck on his book and website. Pinkdorkysocks: I am just kidding with you. Since you keep calling me the wrong name. GentlemanBrock: I appreciate a mild joke now and then. Pinkdorkysocks: That's good. Pinkdorkysocks: If you would please excuse me, I have to go put in a load of laundry. GentlemanBrock: I would not only excuse you, but I would excuse myself. GentlemanBrock: I hesitate to say it, but I shall be late for a date if I do not put a hasty end to our chat. Pinkdorkysocks: alright. Pinkdorkysocks: I will let you go then. I enjoyed talking with you Brock. GentlemanBrock: Miss young madam, it was a pleasure as always...May we share such pleasant times together at a later date! GentlemanBrock: Farewell. Pinkdorkysocks: Farewell Finally, Gentleman Brock has a friendly convo with someone...
This convo written by
Brock. |
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